That’s unfair! Coping with life’s unintended obstacles

Life can be tough. We may find ourselves in some deplorable situations. Some of these situations may be due to bad choices we’ve made. However, sometimes things happen that we don’t have any control over and did not deserve. Yet, we end up suffering the consequences.

This can include things like:

Suddenly losing a job through no fault of your own.

Unexpected financial hardships, like expensive home or car repairs.

Experiencing a bad car crash because of someone else’s negligence.

When a significant other cheats on you or leaves you without a good reason.

Being the victim of a burglary or a random act of violence.

Any number of serious health problems that may arise.

The death of someone very close to you.

To make matters worse, we may experience a combination of such things. Have you ever seen one of those movies where everything that can go wrong does go wrong?

Movies tend to end with satisfying resolutions and everyone ends up happy. Real life isn’t like that though and can be unbelievably frustrating. It may start to feel like the world is completely unfair, especially when you see other people who, at least to our own eyes, seem to have it so good.

This has been the case for me more times than I can count. I felt that I was living a cursed life and perhaps it wasn’t worth the effort anymore. Rock bottom.

Yet, from the depths of rock bottom I always seem to look up and see some shred of light, some glimmer of hope that encourages me to go on. It’s an amazing world and there’s always something magnificent and remarkable enough to live for. Here are a few of the things I do to cope. Hopefully they will be of some help to you.

  1. Always try to find the bright side: My mother died when I was very young. One thing I always remember though was her enduring optimism. I carry that example with me to this day. I may have to force myself, but I will participate in support groups, blog about my experience or channel my grief through writing and creating. Therein, I will slowly find hope and joy again.
  2. Believe in my significance in the world: I believe we all have a purpose and a path if we choose to accept it and act on it. I will find ways to stay on the path and impact the world in a positive way. It’s not just about me, it’s about offering something to the world that will make a difference, even it’s something seemingly small.
  3. Be inspired by others: Everyone goes through hard times. Many choose to express their feelings and offer advice. Connection is an important factor in healing. I will seek out books, magazines, websites, blogs, movies or other such things that focus on inspiring and encouraging people through encouraging stories and quotes. I will immerse myself in hope.
  4. Practice mindfulness: I can’t say enough good things about mindfulness. There are mindfulness practices that I’ve learned and continue to use all the time. I will practice them and visit sites like and the blog of one of my favorite inspirational people, the late Dr. Wayne Dyer.
  5. I will appreciate and find solace in as many good things as possible: Beauty is everywhere, I don’t have to work hard to find it. This may include:
    • Nature the blue sky, fluffy white clouds, trees, flowers, etc. are all there to boost and rejuvenate the human spirit.
    • Technology that makes life easier and that often gets taken for granted: cell phones, cars, the internet, refrigerators, indoor flush toilets, heating and air conditioning, electricity, etc. Seriously, how often do we stop and appreciate these things.
    • Positive emotions like the ability to love and feel happiness and joy.
    • Random acts of kindness that, even in small ways, happen everyday.
  6. I will be my own salvation: waiting for someone else to save me doesn’t always work out so well. I will save myself by learning to love and appreciate my role in the world. I am strong and resilient.

And you can do it, too!



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