An odd sort of phenomenon exists amongst people with BPD wherein there’s a strong desire to deny the diagnosis and/or fight against it. I’ve read accounts from people who talk about their diagnosis as if it’s just one big conspiracy cooked up by health professionals and their loved ones to ruin their lives somehow.
A curious situation…. and I believe it has a lot to do with the immense amount of stigma and shame associated with this disorder. Sure, misdiagnosis can and does happen, but I think this is happening less now than in the past. Increased knowledge and education has helped.
Acceptance is a key first step in healing from anything. It can be scary to accept BDP as a diagnosis (trust me, I know all about that!) but it doesn’t have to feel like a death sentence and I absolutely hate it when people refer to their diagnosis as a “label.” Mostly this just makes me feel sad. How can one begin to heal if they do not accept that they need to heal in the first place?
Is it easy? Hell no! Our own minds and our bad experiences of the past can work against us. Progress can only be made though when we talk openly and honestly about what is going on in our minds. We should all consider ourselves part of the learning process and not be afraid to open the door to recovery. After all, taking the first step towards feeling better is really what diagnosis is all about.
Read: BPD mythbuster series intro: Recovery
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Now that I know what BPD is, I kinda like having it as part of me. I may be nuts, but This is me, and that’s okay.
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That’s so true. When you can start to see the positive aspects of BPD I think that’s when true healing has taken place. 🙂
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I found learning about BPD helpful for it explained a lot of my world to me. I was never given a diagnoses of BPD (more like have never been diagnosed with anything), though the first time I spoke to a therapist who asked me if I have it, I was insulted and hurt. I think it was good for me never to get any diagnosis for I would have seen it as a label at the time. Now I feel that everything just categorises things and helps you understand it.
Particularly with BPD I feel there is more hope than with a lot of other things, for the more you understand it, the more you can change it, and, it actually changes a lot with life. I know a number of people who’ve outgrown it, and for myself, although I would have been diagnosed with it in the past, I don’t think I would today – however much I live with some of the traits, all the criteria don’t define my life, which, it used to.
Thanks for sharing… why’m I rambling?
Love, light and glitter
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Most informative, JoAnn, particularly as you comment with the insight of one who’s been there.
Far from being “preached at” by someone who has no idea what she’s talking about (Whoa – is that a mirror?), the BPD sufferer knows you’ve faced, and often overcome, the same challenges.
Perhaps that, more than anything, will inspire the crucial first step.
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That’s my goal with publishing these posts. Changing how people think about something isn’t always easy but it can be done. It’s essential though so that future generations don’t have to keep going through this cycle of ridiculousness just to get diagnosed and begin treatment. Hopefully the scare factor will lessen or go away one of these days. 🙂
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BPD is such an unfortunate title and it conjures up all sorts of negative connotations for people ‘not in the know’.
I should have known better, years ago when I was nursing, I suggested she had this disorder and she ‘flipped’, didn’t speak to me for months, removed me from all social media etc… No way would she accept this.
Ten years on, and only 2 years ago, she went ‘ape’ with her GP when he gave her that diagnosis. However, once she had an actual diagnosis and accepted it, she got the care she so desperately needed.
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Very well written JoAnn! I specifically love the last line “After all, taking the first step towards feeling better is really what diagnosis is all about”. I think sometimes one small step we take in the right direction can take us towards one of the biggest achievements we make in life.
Have a wonderful December JoAnn!! ❤️
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Yes, you are so right… taking steps in the right direction always feels good. 🙂Thank you and thanks so much for visiting. Hope you have a great December also!
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I truly do agree with this post. For numerous years I was diagnosed with depression and a personality disorder. Earlier this year the diagnosis was changed to BiPolar. At first this was difficult because of the stigma. Your talking about acceptance is fantastic. I can now view it as just something that is part of my daily life.
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Yes, diagnosis can be a bitter pill to swallow but it also opens us up to a path toward healing… and there’s so much information out there these days! Can you imagine being diagnosed even a few decades ago when there was so little info… no websites or blogs to read for instance? Feels like we’re coming out of the dark ages… at least as far as mental health is concerned. 🙂
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You hit the nail on the head, “Acceptance” is the biggest hurdle!
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Yes. Thank you and thanks for visiting! 🙂🌺
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I think there is a lot of stigma with BPD, a lot! I also think people honestly don’t know how to react when they hear some one saying that they have BPD. BPD is such a broad diagnosis. I met a lot of people with BPD and a few I couln’t ‘handle’ well as so to speak but actually I got along with most who had the diagnosis.
It all depends. I think we all have a journey in life, we all need to learn and for some it is the journey of a ‘recovery from/ with mental struggles’ but all other people have stuff going on too. Still they get a different reaction. We got work to do!
I think you’re very right about the step to acceptance. Maybe it is difficult to take in the ‘whole diagnosis’ at once but when you take small steps, looking into the areas you struggle with (and don’t think about the big word of BPD) I think people can really benefit from that. To close my longer comment, I heard a psychiatrist stating that BPD in women becomes more softer and easier to handle with age. So there is some benefit in aging and some positives to look for!
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Oh I forgot: the link to the intro of the series didn’t work for me.
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Oh ok
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Thanks for letting me know I think I got it fixed. 🙂
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Yes, I feel a lot of things have become better for me as I’ve gotten older although I believe this also has a lot to do with all of the efforts I’ve made to heal and get better.
It’s also very true that we all have our own journey through life and that includes things like this. We are all still individuals despite any kind of diagnosis. Very important to remember.
Thanks for reading and commenting. 🙂
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Very well said 🙂
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Thank you 🙂🌺
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