Memo at Midnight: Disassociating and just slogging through

Been feeling disconnected and out of it the last several days… and haven’t been interacting with my fellow bloggers as much as I usually do. I’ve been reserving most of my energy for work, where I can flip the switch and act the part. Ya, know what I mean? At night I go home exhausted from keeping up the charade.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my job, but it’s a place where you have to try your best to be friendly, engaging and outgoinging. Most of the time I don’t have to fake it as that is essentially my nature. Except lately there have have been a lot of personal problems to deal with and stress in my life to get through so it’s left me feeling like zoning out whenever I have the chance. For people with BPD this term is called disassociation. It becomes a useful, although not exactly healthy, tool for dealing with stress.

I will get through it though. The best thing anyone can do in such a situation is try as much as possible to harness the negative energy and use it as a springboard to bigger and better things. Getting control of emotions is a skill to be practiced digilantly, especially if you have a disorder that can make it difficult to succesfully control emotions.

I know myself and I know I will snap out of it soon. Hope everyone else is slogging though too and doing their best. That’s really all we can do!

More Memos at Midnight:

Memo at Midnight: How to really help someone in pain

Memo at Midnight: Love everything ❤️💕

23 thoughts on “Memo at Midnight: Disassociating and just slogging through”

  1. Pingback: Memo at midnight: Unfinished drafts and keeping sane in an insane world – Midnight Harmony
  2. Pingback: Memo at Midnight: Everyday is so wonderful… then suddenly… – Midnight Harmony

    1. Oh that’s nice. Retirement sounds great. I think have a few years until that unless I somehow become independently wealthy before then.
      And yes, the corporate culture isn’t always good. That’s the way it is in America though. After many years of working against the system I think I’ve gotten the hang of going with the flow while still maintaining my own integrity. Life seems far better that way.

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  6. Admire your spirit, JoAnn, in realizing you’ll overcome this, and in your determination to do so. Really, I barely can comprehend how daunting a challenge this is, though my enthusiasm for your effort is unmitigated.

    Much of the trouble is situational, of course, but do you think the shorter days (we’re barely past Solstice, after all) has contributed to the funk too? Sure, Florida’s closer to the tropics, and thus, is less subject to seasonal variations, but there’s considerably less sunshine at the moment than we’ll enjoy in July.

    Let’s go, spring – any day now!

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    1. It doesn’t have much to do with the weather unfortunately, just a lot of things that I’m trying to get control of but seem to remain frustratingly out of my control. Thank you for the kudos though. 🙂

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  8. Great article, JoAnn. I can relate because between a day job, working on my next novel, and a husband who demands much of my time, it’s hard to find time to blog, period. And I don’t want to neglect my fellow bloggers either. All this sometimes stresses me out and I find myself just “slogging through” as you put it. It’s tough to juggle so many projects.
    Thank you so much for addressing this because I do this more than I care to admit. And sometimes the tiredness and stress has an affect on my writing and blogging.

    I hope you feel better soon. I’m keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!

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  10. There is much more to life than slogging, believe me.
    I hope you solve the issues back home real quick and take a break from the monotonous life. Take a walk in the meadows and enjoy the fresh, cold air. Make memories. And come back recharged.
    You are strong. You can easily set things right.. 🙂

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