Engineers, brain surgeons, rocket scientists, prize-winning authors, environmentalists, humanitarians… just a few examples of how we humans are capable of astonishing feats of greatness.
And then, there are people like Bernie Madoff, Ted Bundy, Timothy McVeigh, Stalin and Hitler… those who savagely take advantage of people or commit such unspeakable evil that the average human being can hardly fathom it.
The truly astonishing part is that it all exists in the same world. Even more astonishing… to a certain degree both of the above exists in all of us, too. I’m trying to work on not having negative thoughts about people I don’t even know yet or prejudging people as good or bad within just a few seconds of interaction. I know, not nearly as bad as being a serial killer and I’m glad for that!
Sometimes though I get the impulse to tell people to just leave me the f— alone when I see them approaching or I just generally have mean thoughts. Lately I’ve been catching myself and asking God or the universe or some power inside myself to help me. Help me not be like that because I do like people.
This can happen when a person gets burned enough by other people, I suppose. Even so, doesn’t mean I have to carry it around everywhere. I can get rid of that kind of baggage anytime I want… if I choose.
Easier said than done though, right?
The following quote is from my Facebook page—people seem to like it a lot.
More: Memos at midnight
The Sunstone Journal 
JoAnn, informative post. 🙂 I believe everyone is capable of unimaginable acts, both positive and negative if the circumstances are right. Happy holidays! ❤
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Thank you. Yes certainly! Much agreed. Happy Holidays to you too! 🎄🎄
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Unfortunately, we all get bad thoughts, as long as that’s all they are — my wee mum always says “ye cannae get sent tae prison for your thoughts.” As long as we don’t act on them. Forgive yourself my lovely, it’s okay to have yuck thoughts now and again.
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Wee mum… that’s so endearing ☺️
Yes, those are very true words that she said!
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I love ma wee mum and her words of wisdom 🙂 x
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Good post, I like your blog. Some time ago I went looking for blogs by other people who experience BPD issues and I believe you are the only one I followed because you write well and post good content. I also appreciate that you fight negativity and try to prevent it from taking the wheel. I fight this too. Sometimes it wins with me, but I do fight and I appreciate reading about another intelligent person who has awareness and fights. Right now I am studying buddism and meditating. I have discovered that DBT is largely a buddism rip off and I know that DBT is a common treatment for this condition. The awesome thing is that buddism and it’s philosophies are free, unlike DBT therapy. Anyway I went a little sideways here, but mostly let me say I am glad I started following you. Thank you for this post.
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Thank you so much. One thing I’ve come to know well about BPD is that it can be extremly complicated to figure out and that every person who has it will still be very unique in how they are able to deal with the disorder. Because of this I have found that connecting with other people who have BPD can be surprisingly difficult. As you mentioned, I think being able to establish self-awareness and then have the desire to work very hard at getting better is crucial So many never get to that place and it’s very sad!
We are so alike in that I too discovered DBT and then traced it back to buddhism. It’s made a collosal difference in my recovery. Just amazing! DBT therapists and programs are crazy expensive though! Unfortunate too as most of us experience severe financial instability. I found the most help by reading books and using DBT workbooks.
I’m so glad that you’ve been discovering all this for yourself. You’ve really jumped a gigantic hurdle and you have to give yourself big kudos for that!
Thanks again for reaching out. I really appreciate it.
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Likewise, I appreciate your response 🙂.
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I think the way you are handling negative thoughts are a good way to do it. We are surrounded by so much negativity, that we can safely assume that our negative thoughts are not all part of ourselves. But it is hard to not succumb to all the negativity around us. Generally, if you ask people, they want to live in peace with others, they want to love and be loved, but then something brings up negative thoughts. We are not forced to have them, we can choose to deny them access to us. But sometimes it is hard, I give you that. The first big step is to get the insight, then change can follow. Without insight there will never be any change.
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Yes, one of the big reasons why I try not to watch the news other than to get a few updates. They can help you dwell on the negative aspects of everything.
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I avoid that as well. The media have one purpose: to make people afraid and easier to manipulate.
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Yes I believe that is true.
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👌 Content
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🙂
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The past can trap us if we let it. The angry or sad person is living in the past. The future can also trap us. One who lives with anxiety and fear is living a frightful future before it even arrives.
I think the best thing is to live 100% in the present if you can. Not always as easy to do as to say but I am surprised that so few people are willing to try. They can’t surrender those old hurts wrongs to the trash can of history. Nor can they say, I’ve done what I can, so *que sera sera.*
When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
Wendell Berry
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There are a lot of angry people walking around. I used to be one of them to a certain extent and still am once in a while. Sometimes you want to explain things to people but they aren’t always open to it, like you said.
Thank you for the lovely poem 🙂
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I think you will like this video. It explains why I can be upbeat about the fate of humanity.
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Thank you. Will put it on my watch list. Been so busy this week I can hardly remember my own name
😕😜
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I finally got some extra time to watch this. Loved it… especially as it is told with a charming Australian accent. I’ve read the book of course. Luckily there seems to be a wealth of evidence to support the assertion that the good in people more often than not supercedes the bad… luckily there was no little budding Hitler on that boat!
It makes for a very fascinating subject at any rate. Thanks for sharing the video.
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